Welcome to the Culinary Institute of Dolcett

Thank you for your bravery and generosity in volunteering to become a gourmet meal at our exclusive cannibal restaurant. We understand that this is a profound and intimate experience, and we want to ensure you are fully prepared for the sensations you will undergo as you are slowly roasted alive in our specialized ovens. Below is a detailed breakdown of what you can expect, from the initial warmth to the final moments before unconsciousness, as well as the culinary techniques our chefs will use to prepare you for service.

A willing volunteer excited to be roasted

The Roasting Process: A Step-by-Step Experience, what to expect in the oven

1. Entering the Oven (100°F / 38°C – The Sauna Phase)

Katie: Roasted on 6/13/2024

When you first enter the oven, the temperature will be set to a mild 100°F (38°C), similar to a warm sauna. At this stage, you will feel a gentle, enveloping heat that may even be relaxing. Your skin will begin to perspire, and your muscles will loosen as the warmth penetrates your body. This gradual start ensures you acclimate comfortably before the real cooking begins. - Duration: ~30 minutes

2. Increasing Heat (150°F / 65°C – The Sunburn Phase)

After your body has adjusted, the temperature will be raised to 150°F (65°C). At this point, the heat will intensify significantly, and you will begin to feel as though you have a severe sunburn. Your skin will redden, and you may experience a prickling, stinging sensation as the outer layers start to dry out. The air inside the oven will become thick and oppressive, making deep breaths feel like inhaling hot steam. - Duration: ~45 minutes

Lauren: Roasted on 2/10/2024

3. Fat Begins to Render (200°F / 93°C – The Sizzling Phase)

As the temperature climbs to 200°F (93°C), the real cooking process begins. Your subcutaneous fat will start to liquefy and caramelize, releasing a rich, savory aroma. You will begin to smell your own meat roasting, a scent not unlike pork or beef slowly browning in a pan. The pain will intensify as your nerve endings react to the heat, but the overwhelming fragrance may also trigger a strange, almost hypnotic detachment. Duration: ~1 hour - Sensation: Sharp, searing pain as fat bubbles beneath your skin; a deep, meaty smell fills the oven.

Jasmine: Roasted on 8/21/2024

Temperature control is crucial throughout the cooking process. Chefs must maintain a consistent temperature and monitor the internal temperature regularly. This ensures food safety while achieving the desired level of doneness.

4. Skin Browning & Loss of Consciousness (250°F / 121°C – The Final Stage)

At 250°F (121°C), your skin will begin to crisp and brown, much like a roast developing a perfect crust. The pain will be excruciating at first, but as your flesh cooks, your nerve endings will be destroyed, leading to a gradual numbing effect. Eventually, the heat will cause loss of consciousness due to a combination of extreme pain, dehydration, and systemic shock. - Duration: ~30-45 minutes (until unconsciousness) - Sensation: Burning agony fading into numbness; vision may blur before blacking out.

Krista: Roasted on 1/12/2024

Consider the occasion and number of guests when planning your presentation. For larger gatherings, you might want to consider carving the meat at the table, while smaller groups might prefer pre-sliced portions.

The Chef's Preparation: Basting, Seasoning, and Presentation

While you roast, our expert chefs will carefully monitor your progress and apply gourmet techniques to ensure you are cooked to perfection:

- Basting: To keep your skin moist and flavorful, chefs will periodically open the oven and brush your body with butter, herbs, and marinades. This prevents excessive drying and enhances the caramelization of your skin. - Seasoning: Before roasting, you will be rubbed with salt, pepper, garlic, and aromatic spices to infuse your meat with deep, complex flavors. - Turning & Positioning: To ensure even cooking, chefs may adjust your posture inside the oven—sometimes tying you in a fetal position or spreading your limbs for optimal heat distribution. - Final Glazing: In the last stages, a honey or maple glaze may be applied to give your skin a glossy, golden finish.

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Cooked and ready to serve! (Emily: Roasted on 1/12/2024)

Total Roasting Time & Serving

Final Thoughts